The Cullen's reign of terror over Walmart
by MaraudersWolfe
Summary: The cullens find a list of 50 things to do at Wal-mart and decide to reak havoc on the unsuspecting store. Bella human. Cullen's vampires. Pre Breaking Dawn, Post Eclipse.
1. Preface: The list

_**Okay I know this has been done before but not by me so read, enjoy, and tell me if I should give something to someone else. **_

**DISCLAIMER: If I was Stephanie Meyers, I wouldn't be writing this here wishing I owned the characters, now would I?**

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50 Things the Cullens will do at Wal-Mart

Fill an entire shopping cart with only rash cream. CARLISLE

Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. CARLISLE

Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane finally deciding you only want a candy bar that wasn't even in the cart. CARLISLE

Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. CARLISLE

Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. CARLISLE

Try to pay for your normal Wal-Mart items in the Wal-Mart Subway/McDonalds. ESME

Shop in the stock room as if it were the actual store. ESME

Try returning something that isn't sold at Wal-Mart. ESME

Switch prices on expensive stuff and cheap stuff. ESME

When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. ESME

Find the electric box, and shut down the electricity to the whole store! EDWARD

While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room when people are in the restrooms. EDWARD

"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. EDWARD

When the loud speaker come on collapse to the floor yelling about the voices. EDWARD

Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. EDWARD

Thank people for coming to your wedding when they enter the store calling them all the same name. BELLA AND EDWARD

Make a trail of tomato sauce to the girls bathroom. BELLA

Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Force people to sign in. BELLA

Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere. BELLA

Get a stuffed animals and go to the front of the store and begin stroking them lovingly and talking to them. BELLA

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at two minute intervals throughout the day. BELLA

Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. ALICE

Hide in the clothing rack and when people walk by give them advice. ("That's not your color." "Better get the smaller size." "Pick the pink one." etc.) ALICE

While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying. ALICE

Insist that the automatic doors are magical portals to other realms. ALICE

While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?" ALICE

Run out of the Wal-Mart bank (yes, they have a Wood Forest National Bank) with some toy guns yelling "LETS GO LETS GO!" Proceed to hop in the back of the motorized Barbie Jeep and speed out of the store. ALICE AND JASPER

Ask to see a rifle in the sporting goods section and once handed it ask where the anti-depressants are. JASPER

Go to the fish section with a recipe book in hand and point out a fish to an employee and say "MMM...That one will do" JASPER

Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle 12. JASPER

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with toys as soldiers. JASPER

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. JASPER AND EMMETT

Race a display bike (preferably small and pink) down a busy aisle at maximum speed while yelling "No Brakes!" EMMETT

Go into the dressing room then after a few minutes complain that there is no toilet paper. EMMETT

Drive around the store on tricycles screaming "The British are coming" EMMETT

Try to purchase a lawnmower in the self check-out line. EMMETT

Play "Pimp My Ride" with one of the electronic wheelchair/shopping carts you can get at the entrance. Spray-paint the wheels/ mount a radio on the front/ sprinkle unnecessary amounts of glitter on it. EMMETT AND ROSALIE

In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ROSALIE

Place condoms in random people's carts. ROSALIE

When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" ROSALIE

Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices. ROSALIE

Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. ROSALIE

Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins and bow to them. FAMILY

Play Wal-Mart football and try to get people to join you. FAMILY

Play a full game of Texas Hold 'Em on a display table. Invite friends, smoke cigars, order a round of beers from Wal-Mart employees. BOYS

Two words: Marco Polo. FAMILY

Hold indoor shopping cart races. FAMILY

TP as much of the store as possible. FAMILY

Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV's to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly. GIRLS

With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. FAMILY

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_**I know authors are always begging for review and it gets boring writing them, but they are great encouragement and they keep us writing the story. REVIEW! Please tell me if any job should belong to a different character!**_


	2. Receiving the List

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Okay so here's the first chapter! YAY! Thank you to all your wonderful reviews. I was shocked within six hours I had gotten 6 reviews. On my first try I got none in 3 months so I'm really excited to continue this story. I want to especially thank azzDOGG because they found something that I had missed and that should have been changed. It's done, thanks for pointing it out.

**Disclaimer:****If I was Stephanie Meyers, I wouldn't be writing this here wishing I owned the characters, now would I?**

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**Receiving the list**

Bella's POV

I woke up to the _ping_ of my new computer that Edward insisted upon getting me so that I could leave it on more often. My old computer was just fine; I just had to turn it off when I wasn't using it. Secretly I loved my new laptop, but I could never tell Edward it would just give him another reason to spend money on me. It allowed me to start working on email connections with my friends before I was changed. I also am able to keep in touch with my mother better.

She was so excited when Edward and I told her we were getting married. Charlie on the other hand wasn't, but eventually after not talking to me for a week he came around. He still wishes I chose Jacob, but has agreed to come to the wedding.

The annoying _pinging _sound went off again, so finally I got out of bed to see what it was. I wish Edward was here, he would have stopped that annoying noise from waking me up, I thought as I went to my desk. But he wouldn't be coming over until Charlie left for work to take me to his house. Charlie has been getting suspicious and has nearly caught him twice last night before he decided it was best to leave.

Apparently the noise was emails arriving from Mike, Tyler, Jessica, and Ben, all sending the same forwarded email. I was just about to delete the change mail, when I read the title.

50 Things to do at Wal-mart, it sounded interesting so cautiously I opened one of the messages and read threw. I nearly wet myself laughing so hard, because I could just picture the Cullens doing something like this (especially Emmett).

Then I thought, Well why don't we do this, it would be a lot of fun and I really need a break from all the wedding talk. Alice had been horrible these last three weeks, ever since I told her she could plan the wedding she has been taking up every second of the day talking about it and asking me for choices. I really need a break, and this is perfect.

And with that I printed out the list and started my day, planning on telling the Cullens about my plan when Edward picked me up. This day was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

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_**So what do you think? That sound alright? I no its not long, but it is just setting the story up, the next chapter will probably be longer. Well next chapter is the Cullens reactions to the list. REVIEW!**_


	3. Telling the Cullens

_**Okay here's the actual chapter I got it out a lot faster than I thought thanks for waiting. I hope you all enjoy it thanks everyone who has added me to their alerts especially those who reviewed. You guys rock! Here is the next chapter.**_

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephanie Meyers, I wouldn't be writing this here wishing I owned the characters, now would I?**

Edward arrived the minute after Charlie left. Thank goodness he was going to be gone all weekend on a fishing trip with Billy. He has been taking those a lot more recently, I think because he has been trying to avoid the wedding plans. He thinks the boys are going camping this weekend while we girls go dress shopping, little does he know that Alice ordered my dress before I even moved here.

While I was getting ready for the day and planning how I was going to tell the Cullen's about my plans, Edward made me a fabulous breakfast. He sat beside me as I ate, eyeing me suspiciously, like he knew something was up. "Anything interesting happen while I was gone, love?" He asked me hesitantly.

I looked up at him and replied, "Yep I got this really funny e-mail that I am going to show your family."

He smiled and asked, "What was so funny about it Bella and why do you have that mischievous look in your eyes again. The last time I saw that look was when you were planning to beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match after you were … _changed_."

I smiled at him, kissed his nose, and whispered in his ear, "Well that's for me to know and you to find out."

Ever since I learned the power I held over him I have become much braver in teasing him. So, he sat there stunned as I tripped up the stairs to brush my teeth and grab my purse (which the list was hidden inside). When I came back down the stairs he was waiting for me. He wrapped his arm around me as I tripped on the second to last step, chuckling, then he whispered in my ear, "That wasn't nice, dear." As he kissed behind my earlobe making me silently swoon.

He smiled crookedly as he led me out to the Volvo, where he opened my door and helped me in. Edward started the car and was out the driveway before I finished saying thank you to him. As we zoomed down the empty streets at a speed I did not want to even think about, he asked again what I was planning. I simply smiled at him and shook my head.

When we pulled up to the white mansion I spotted Alice jumping up and down on the porch excitedly. Edward growled in frustration muttering about how Alice was blocking her mind. When Edward parked the car Alice reached for my door and pulled me out squealing, "I absolutely love your idea, even though you only came up with it because you did not want to work on wedding plans!"

Her loud, excited voice had caught the attention of the rest of the family and suddenly Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were standing on the porch staring at the scene in front of them curiously. "Hey little sis, what up?" Emmett asked enthusiastically.

"Oh, Bella had this fantastic idea on what we should do today it is going to be so much fun!" Alice explained as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet with an evil grin.

"Well let's go inside to hear about this," Edward said grumpily at the fact that Alice knew what was going on and he didn't as he took my hand and led me to the living room (or as Emmett liked to call it the living dead room). Emmett followed quickly liking the sound of the idea along with Alice, while Rosalie and Jasper followed more reluctantly.

I Rosalie and Emmett sat down on the couch while Jasper sat next to Alice on the loveseat. Edward sat down in the large comfy chair all of them surrounding the coffee table and facing towards the high definition 103 inch plasma screen T.V. (largest full HD plasma screen television). They all looked at me silently while Alice giggled and bounced in her seat urging me on.

"Well my idea came to me when I got this email from a couple of my friends from school. It was a list of things to do at Wal-Mart, so I was thinking that we could go there…"

"Wal-Mart," Rosalie shrieked as I began to explain my plan, "You want me to go into a Wal-Mart. NO WAY! I won't do it. Alice how can you be agreeing to this, you hate Wal-Mart almost as much as I do."

**(Authors Note: NO OFFENCE TO ANY AND ALL WALMART SHOPPER OR PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE)**

Alice sighed, "Rosalie if you would let Bella finish, you would learn that we won't be shopping at a Wal-mart we will be wreaking havoc on one. It is going to be so much fun."

Alice squealed loudly in Jasper's ear while everyone turned to look at me. Edward had a bemused expression on his face and looked like he would have denied involvement if it wasn't my idea. Emmett was nearly bouncing with excitement. Jasper looked as if he could not decide what to feel and Rosalie was still looking completely pissed off, but also curious about what I was planning.

"Well as I was saying my idea was that we could go to Wal-Mart and do the list. It would be really fun and a break from all the wedding planning and give us all a good laugh." I concluded questionably, not really sure if it sounded like fun to them.

"You mean we are going to go to one of the most disgusting store in existence and completely wreak havoc on the unsuspecting horror." Rosalie said enthusiastically.

"Well yes pretty much," I replied with a grin at her. Though Rosalie did not approve of my choice to become a vampire, she and I had grown closer through the wedding planning especially when I asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. She had become a lot friendlier to me and we were on our way to becoming great friends.

"Hell Ya," Emmett screamed happily throwing his fist in the air and dancing a little, "this is going to be so awesome, Bella. You're an evil little genius sister dear."

Even Jasper looked excited about the prospect of causing a little trouble in a store his wife hated. Edward on the other hard was looking worried, and asked, "Bella do you think this is the safest idea, I mean you could get hurt. What if we got in trouble what would Charlie think, he already hates me. If I got you arrested it would be disastrous."

"Edward quit worrying, everything is going to be fine. Just let yourself and Bella have fun for once." Alice replied as I gave her a small smile and walked over to Edward who was fuming.

"We have plenty of fun Alice, I am just worried about my human fiancé." He defended himself.

I sat down on his lap gently and turned to him while making my eyes huge and said, "Edward nothing is going to happen, you'll be there every step of the way. It will be fun, you don't want to stop me from having fun do you. I guess we can just forget about and stay home all day talking about what type of silverware and what shade of crème tablecloths to have at the reception."

I visibly saw him cringe at the idea and heard him sigh, then looked at me and said hesitantly, "Okay I guess we can do it, but I you have to stay with me."

I smiled widely and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and turned back to the rest of the group saying, "Great, now here's the list of the things to do, Wal-Mart's not going to know what hit them."

They all read over copies of the list and laughed we were too busy planning who was doing which numbers that we didn't notice Carlisle and Esme come in until Esme said, "What are you children up to now."

We all turned to see her gazing suspiciously at Emmett and Alice while Carlisle tried to sneak a peek at one of the list.

"Nothing!" Everyone replied at once.

"Give it here," Esme said reaching out her hand looking at us expectantly. Alice happily handed over the list. As Esme and Carlisle read over it smiles lit their faces and they laughed loudly.

"This looks like a lot of fun children," Carlisle replied happily, as he looked through the list again. "Can we join you today?"

"Sure Carlisle, you to Esme. This is going to be so much fun with the whole family, and now Edward won't worry so much because if anything happens you two can get us out of trouble." I answered happily. Alice looked happy that Carlisle and Esme were going to be there too.

Everyone else looked completely shocked that their parents were participating in such activities. They all set their stunned until Esme said, "Well what are you all waiting for let's get going to the Wal-Mart Superstore in Port Angeles."

"Yeah let's go," Emmett shouted happily racing to his jeep as everyone slowly started moving towards their cars. Emmett and Rosalie in his jeep (since Rosalie wouldn't allow her car to be seen at Wal-Mart) Carlisle and Esme in his Mercedes and Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I in the Volvo, with that we all headed off toward the nearest Wal-Mart. On the way Alice and I finished assigning everyone their numbers.

_**So what did you think! It a lot longer like I promised, REVIEW and tell me what you think, also let me know which numbers I should start with first. I think I will do one per couple each chapter or one family one.**_


	4. Ready or Not, Here We Come!

Okay I know it's been two weeks, so here is the much anticipated next chapter. Sorry it took so long for those of you who care when I got my wisdom teeth out there was complications and last Friday I found out I had an infection, so they had to put a hole in this giant puss pocket I had in my cheek. The swelling is just starting to go down so I decided to give you guys a new chapter! YAY!

_**Special thanks to **_**jade304**_** and **_**ashpi**_** for answering my question and giving me advice. You Guys Rock! Thanks! So here we got Chapter 3!**_

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephanie Meyers, I wouldn't be writing this here wishing I owned the characters, now would I?**

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Ready or Not, Here We Come

Bella's POV

As we pulled into the parking lot of the Port Angeles Wal-mart around ten (am), Alice dived out of the car and ran faster than she should toward the front doors. The rest of us quickly got out of the car and headed over to the others who were standing off to the side of the doors waiting for us. Rosalie was sporting a large hat and huge sunglasses in an attempt to make sure no one recognizes her. Alice with a look of terror ran over to her and whispered something in her ear, Rosalie sighed than removed both before heading back to Emmett's jeep.

I stared after her questionably being the only one who didn't hear what Alice said. Edward turned to me and smiled, and said, "Alice told Rosalie that they wouldn't help and that they would get ruined if she continued to wear them. Rosalie is not to happy to be here, but is excited for what were going to do."

By the time he had answered my question Rosalie was back and glaring at him, Emmett was practically shaking with anticipation (Alice already was as soon as we got there, but she had to protect fashion before we started), which was in turn making Jasper hop up and down in place with an evil smile on his face. While Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and I looked on a little frightened.

Finally Alice snapped and squealed, "Alright here are your list, we will split up into couples and complete our individual tasks, than come together at noon in the McDonald's for Bella to eat. After that we will do the couple tasks and the family ones. We shouldn't get caught, but we have to be out of here by 4:18 because that is when they will get fed up and call the police. If we are still here after that Charlie will arrive and catch us."

"Wait a second, how will Charlie and those other guys catch us. I mean we are super cool vampires with speed, strength, and smartness. We can take them!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, we may have all of that, but we can't use it in front of the humans, except Bella of course," Carlisle said, "Besides I can't risk being arrested. I'm a highly respected doctor, how would it look if I was arrested for pranking a Wal-mart."

"I can't risk it either," Edward said gazing down at me, "Charlie already hates me. He is just looking for a reason to shoot me. Not to mention what he would do to Bella."

He was right Charlie had been relentlessly questioning him trying to find a flaw that he could use to convince me not to marry Edward. If we were caught that would be just another fight, and I really don't want my last months with Charlie to be spent fighting over this. Maybe this wasn't the best idea.

As I was about to speak my mind I was interrupted by a glare from Alice as she said, "Don't even think about it Bella, there is no backing out now or I will take you to New York tomorrow and have a one of a kind custom made Pnina Tornai wedding dress. As long as we are gone by 2:18 Charlie will be none the wiser that you were even here."

The thought scared me, due to the upcoming wedding I have secretly been watching all the wedding shows I can and I knew that her dress could cost thousands of dollars. I once saw one that sold for over $35,000. Besides it was going to be fun right. Edward smiled and wrapped his arm around me, he kissed my cheek and whispered, "Don't worry Bella I won't let anything happen to you."

He effectively dazzled me. All I could do was nod my head as we began to look over our paper. It said:

_Find the electric box, and shut down the electricity to the whole store! EDWARD (save until we leave)_

_While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room when people are in the restrooms. EDWARD_

"_Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. EDWARD_

_When the loud speaker come on collapse to the floor yelling about the voices. EDWARD_

_Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. EDWARD_

_Make a trail of tomato sauce to the girl's bathroom. BELLA_

_Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Force people to sign in. BELLA (after lunch)_

_Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere. BELLA_

_Get a stuffed animals and go to the front of the store and begin stroking them lovingly and talking to them. BELLA_

_Set all the alarm clocks to go off at two minute intervals throughout the day. BELLA_

_Thank people for coming to your wedding when they enter the store calling them all the same name. BELLA AND EDWARD (for after lunch)_

I laughed; this was going to be fun. Edward was smiling down at me mischievously.

"What do you want to do first, love?" I looked up only just realizing that all the other couples had left to begin their tasks.

"Well, we each have one to do after lunch and we both have one to do by the bathroom, so let's start there." He smiled at me, took my hand and led me towards the store. Ready or Not, Here we come!

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Esme's POV

Once we arrived we met out front of the store to receive our tasks. After discussing the plan we were off. I really hope none of the kids cause to much trouble, I hate having to bail them out of jail. There is always one that ends up there in each town I hope with Bella here we may be able to avoid it.

Carlisle and I walked inside the store and over to the flower section before looking over our list, it read:

_Fill an entire shopping cart with only rash cream. CARLISLE (after lunch, and don't say you're a doctor) _

_Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. CARLISLE_

_Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane finally deciding you only want a candy bar that wasn't even in the cart. CARLISLE_

_Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. CARLISLE_

_Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. CARLISLE_

_Try to pay for your normal Wal-Mart items in the Wal-Mart Subway/McDonalds. ESME_

_Shop in the stock room as if it were the actual store. ESME_

_Try returning something that isn't sold at Wal-Mart. ESME (after lunch)_

_Switch prices on expensive stuff and cheap stuff. ESME_

_When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. ESME_

Carlisle stood there shocked at some of his tasks; it seemed that Alice was still a little mad about how last month Carlisle took away her credit cards and forbid her to shop for a week. I giggled remembering how she begged Carlisle to reconsider after the first 32 hours. Yes she was definitely still mad about that.

"Which would you like to do first, dear," I said, trying to hold the amusement out of my voice. He gaped at me and then replied.

"I can't believe she did that. She spent over 2 million dollars in one day of shopping, she has a $500,000 per month clothing budget. And now she is punishing me for being a responsible parent."

"It's alright, honey. I'm sure if we find Emmett he will switch a few tasks with you," I soothed him. He really was panicking. He had been planning which ones he wanted all the way here, so that Alice would have a vision of it. She hadn't given him any of them.

"No," Carlisle replied stubbornly, "the children would never let me live it down if I had to trade. That's exactly what Alice wants. I am going to complete my jobs fully and to the best of my ability if it kills me. Come on we should get some carts to start working on this list."

With that we were off! This is going to be a very long day.

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Alice's POV

_Whaaaaahhhaaaa!_ I laughed evilly in my head as I assigned the jobs each person had to accomplish from the list. Carlisle was going to get none of the ones he wanted and all the ones he didn't. That's what he get for taking away shopping, how dare he. I will never forget him for the …dark week. I shuddered as I thought about it. This will show him to never stand in the way of Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock Hale Cullen.

As I glanced up from my handy work I saw Edward staring at me suspiciously threw the mirror. _Mind your own business, Edward, or I will make sure this trip is miserable for you and take Bella shopping all weekend._ I threatened silently in my head. I saw him cringe in fear and take Bella's hand silently before nodding at me. Good, Edward was smart enough to not mess with me.

Suddenly everything went black as I was pulled into a vision.

_Rosalie was at a checkout in Wal-mart buying a bar of chocolate. When suddenly checkout girl screams frustratedly, "How many times are you going to buy the same bar of candy. Return it and buy another one." _

_Rosalie glares angrily at her and says, "I can do whatever I want as many times as I want, so why don't you just do your pathetic little job and ring up my damn candy bar."_

_The girl, who I just realized was Jessica Stanley from school, huffs then throws the disgusting melted chocolate bar at Rosalie. It hit her beautiful designer hat splattering open staining it and her Dolce and Gabanna glasses in its thick, mess. _

"_Rosalie Hale. What are you doing here, I thought you have always bragged that Wal-mart was to good for you," Jessica sneered as my vision cut out. _

I gasped as I came out of one of the most terrifying visions I have ever had. No those beautiful designer accessories ruined, stained forever with the awful smell of chocolate. I must save them! As I thought this we pulled into the parking lot, quickly before the car even stopped I grabbed my bag and dived out the door, running slightly faster than I should toward Rosalie by the front door.

I heard the others coming up behind me as I sobbed quietly into Rosalie ear, "Oh, Rosalie it was awful you can't wear those beautiful accessories they were ruined by some stupid employee with no taste in fashion in one of the most brutal ways. You must save them you're going to be recognized either way, but if you don't remove them you will lose them in a tragic way."

She sighed disappointed that she would be recognized, but not willing to risk fashion she left to go put them inside Emmett's jeep were they will be safe. Well now that that's done we can get started. I passed out the lists and told everyone the plan, once we stopped arguing over it Jasper and I walked inside and over to the clothing section where Jasper looked over our list that said:

_Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. ALICE_

_Hide in the clothing rack and when people walk by give them advice. ("That's not your color." "Better get the smaller size." "Pick the pink one." etc.) ALICE_

_While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying. ALICE (after lunch)_

_Insist that the automatic doors are magical portals to other realms. ALICE_

_While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?" ALICE_

_Ask to see a rifle in the sporting goods section and once handed it ask where the anti-depressants are. JASPER_

_Go to the fish section with a recipe book in hand and point out a fish to an employee and say "MMM...That one will do" JASPER_

_Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle 12. JASPER (after lunch)_

_Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with toys as soldiers. JASPER_

_Run out of the Wal-Mart bank (yes, they have a Wood Forest National Bank) with some toy guns yelling "LETS GO LETS GO!" Proceed to hop in the back of the motorized Barbie Jeep and speed out of the store. ALICE AND JASPER (After Lunch)_

He smirked wickedly as he read threw the list, and then said, "After you, my darling," as I climbed into the clothing racks to begin my first task.

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Rosalie's POV

As Emmett pulled the jeep into the parking lot of the horrid store, I grabbed my Dolce and Gabanna sunglasses and my Tory Burch hat so that no one would recognize me going here. We got out of the jeep and walked over towards Carlisle and Esme, who were waiting by the front entrance. As we arrived Edward pulled into the parking lot and Alice dived out of the car with a look of horror on her face.

She ran over to me and whisper cried, "Oh, Rosalie it was awful you can't wear those beautiful accessories they were ruined by some stupid employee with no taste in fashion in one of the most brutal ways. You must save them you're going to be recognized either way, but if you don't remove them you will lose them in a tragic way."

No, not my new designer accessories they just arrived from New York last week. I guess I will have to endure the torture of people seeing me at this store. I can't lose my accessories to that horrible fate. I sighed and quickly walked back to the jeep to safely store them away, I heard Edward explaining what was going on to his human on the way.

He really does love her. It is good to see him happy, but I really think she isn't that smart. She is giving up so much. I would do anything to have a baby. But the last time we talked she made me realize that a baby isn't worth it without my teddy bear (Emmett), so I guess I can see why she is doing it.

When I arrived back we discussed the plan for (_shudder_) Wal-mart's demise. Then she passed out the list of assignments to help bring about it doom. Emmett and I quickly went over the auto section to read over our list. It read:

_Race a display bike (preferably small and pink) down a busy aisle at maximum speed while yelling "No Brakes!" EMMETT_

_Go into the dressing room then after a few minutes complain that there is no toilet paper. EMMETT_

_Drive around the store on tricycles screaming "The British are coming" EMMETT (after lunch so we can watch)_

_Try to purchase a lawnmower in the self check-out line. EMMETT_

_In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ROSALIE_

_Place condoms in random people's carts. ROSALIE(after lunch, we'll want to watch)_

_When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" ROSALIE _

_Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices. ROSALIE_

_Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. ROSALIE_

_Play "Pimp My Ride" with one of the electronic wheelchair/shopping carts you can get at the entrance. Spray-paint the wheels/ mount a radio on the front/ sprinkle unnecessary amounts of glitter on it. EMMETT AND ROSALIE(after lunch) _

Oh, this is going to be good, I thought as Emmett laughed manically. We were going to destroy them and victory would be ours. We shall wreak chaos on them, and the best part is they won't even see it coming. On that thought I joined in maniacal laughter, as I said quietly to myself, "Welcome to hell, Wal-mart."

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So tell me what you thought! Who would have guessed Rosalie hates Wal-mart so much. Alice would have a panic attack over accessories, or that she would be so mean to Carlisle.

_**Pictures of Rosalie's accessories are on my profile for anyone who cares.**_

_**Please REVIEW and tell me what you thought and which pranks I should start with, each person will do one per chapter!**_

_**Thanks for reading, see you next time!**_

_**And remember REVIEW!**_


	5. The Clothing Fairy and Elderly Problems

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephanie Meyers, I wouldn't be writing this here wishing I owned the characters, now would I?**

_**Hey everyone, you can put down the pitchforks and torches now, I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating. Go ahead yell and write angry messages, I deserve it. I've been really busy with school though, but I promise to try and update more often come second semester.**_

_**Anyways, here's the next chapter, each character will be doing on event. I had a couple of request on which to do first, and here they are, if there is something you want to see next let me know.**_

_**Thanks to all of you who helped me edit last chapter, I don't have a Beta, but it's nice to know that my reader are willing to help. Also to all those of you who gave me ideas watch for them, I will most certainly use some of them, they got me laughing as I read them.**_

_**Well here it is, hope you enjoy it…**_

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The Clothing Fairy and Elderly Problems

Alice's POV

Uh! I know people shop here and everything, but there is not a single designer label anywhere, how do people survive. Well I better just get on with the task, _Hide in the clothing rack and when people walk by give them advice. _Well that is easy, everyone need my advice on fashion. Let's see where is my first victim… I mean SNAH (Shopper in Need of Alice's Help).

A pretty young girl about sixteen is talking to what looks to be her mother, "Mom, I need to find the perfect dress for tonight. Tony is taking me out to eat at a fancy restaurant; I think he's going to ask me to be his date to Prom. Can you believe we've been dating for a month already?"

_The girl is sitting at a table in a pretty red dress that wasn't flattering her at all. Across from her was a boy about her age with dark brown hair that is falling in front of his bright blue eyes. _

_The boy says, "Look Tammy, we've been going out for a month, and I just don't think you're the right girl for me."_

_Tammy's eyes well up with tears and she stammers, "What do you mean Tony, I thought… I thought you were asking me to …p…pr…prom." _

_He looks at her and says as her tears begin to fall, "Me ask you to Prom, please I asked Stacy Hinkley last month. Why would I want to go with you, Stacy is beautiful and rich. You're just not in the same league. I only asked you out because Jason bet me I couldn't date a nerd for a month." _

That jerk, oh, he's horrible, I'm going to make sure she looks absolutely beautiful tonight and dumps him. That should show him. Oh, here she comes, let's see what would look best on her. Something green to bring out her eyes, not red it flushed her out in my vision.

There, that green dress it will look stunning on her. I quickly darted out from my hideout and raced across the aisle to grab the green dress on the other side, it will be perfect. Then race back and place the dress in my rack before she approaches. Here she comes okay, time for the advice part.

"Uh, don't pick that it's hideous." I said as she picked up the dress from my vision, she turns around quickly and looks around. There is no one here, but me, except she can't see me. Her mother was back looking at purses. Tammy turns back to her shopping a picks up the red dress, again.

Uh, what is with that girl and that dress, I guess I'll have to try again, "No, no, no. Didn't I tell you to leave that alone, it will completely flush out your skin. Try that green dress behind you. You'll look great in that."

"Who said that?" She asks looking around again. I didn't answer, but she kept looking, if I don't give her an answer soon she going to find me. Okay, Alice think, think, oh I've got it, "I'm the great clothing fairy, I had a vision and came to rescue you from your fashion disaster. Tonight you will look stunning in that green dress, but beware Tony is not who you think he is, he is using you. Break up with him tonight or face the consequences."

That should do it, I think.

_Tammy is sitting in the same restaurant I saw earlier, except she's wearing the green dress and looks stunning. Tony is once again sitting across from her, but he looks stunned and looking at her with lustful eyes. _

"_Look Tony, we've been dating for a month now, and I feel, well, you're just not the right guy for me. And I think it's time we stopped seeing each other," Tammy says looking at him with cold eyes. _

"_Wait, what! You can't break up with me, I'm me. I'm every girl's type of guy," He replies, in an outraged tone of voice. _

"_Girls don't like losers who use them. I'm not facing the consequences of staying with you. Goodbye Tony." Tammy stands up and exits the restaurant catching the eyes of several guys as she leaves. _

Yes, you go girl. I look at Tammy and she seems to be considering what I said, then slowly (well for me) she reaches down to pull apart the clothes as I quickly leave. I dash out of sight and stop behind a cereal display, pulling out my list and check off the first task. Now what's next...?

Bella's POV

This is going to be so much fun. I just hope no one gets in trouble for this. Well, maybe Alice, it would give me a longer break from the wedding planning. I don't know why I have to sit there every day and tell her I would like anything she plans. I just want Edward to be happy and all he cares about it the certificate.

"Bella, Bella, love?" I heard Edward ask. Through the rambling of my thoughts I hadn't realize he had been pulling me along through the store to the marinara sauce.

"Oh, um... yah. Well which one looks the most like blood to you?" I asked him back once I realized where we were.

"Are you alright, love? You looked a little lost there."

"Oh, I'm fine. I was just thinking about how annoying Alice is and how it would be nice if she got caught so I could have a break."

He laughed. "Better not let her see that or she'll just make sure we have less time together. We get our break today, at least."

I smiled at him and replied, "I guess you're right now, which one looks the most like blood?"

His smile dropped as he moved closer to inspect the tomato paste. After several seconds he picked one up and wordlessly handed it to me. We walked on silently until we got towards the back of the store where the restrooms were.

"Well which one should we do first, the trail or the switch?" I asked him as we hid quietly behind a shelf of thread. Without answering he jumped up and disappears only to be back before I had time to stand up.

"So, you switched the signs?" I questioned when he returned to kneeling beside me.

"Yes I did, now go make a path towards the one that is labeled men's. It will be funnier that way."

So with Edward watching closely so that I didn't get caught, or hurt myself, I opened the jar of sauce. It looked like typical sauce to me, but I'm sure Edward is an expert on blood and it looks authentic. I tipped the jar just slightly so that a thin line start to appear on the floor as I walked backwards. I walked until I reached the bathrooms and then finished it off with a nice glop right outside the "men's room" door.

I threw the half empty jar into a trash can then slowly stumbled over to Edward to watch the reactions.

Rosalie's POV 

Emmett and I were still laughing manically as we split up, me heading to the make-up department and him to the dressing rooms. Alright, perfume ... perfume... oh, here it is. Uh, it's all so cheap. Why can't they have any that I wear? This is going to make me stink for a month.

Well, I better get this over with; I picked up the first tester bottle and without looking to closely at it started to spray. "Uh!" I moaned as I grabbed another one, I know I wanted to mess with this evil store, but seriously I am going to kill Alice for making me smell like this. I don't think even Emmett will want to touch me with this stench. I grabbed bottle after bottle spraying the least amount that I could, who knew there were so many perfumes at this damned store.

Finally after the floor was littered with the remains of smashed bottle, after all what did I care if the stinky bottles were destroyed? Actually I was happy, yep; no more bad smelling perfume and some stupid devil-store shopper might trip and hurt themselves. Then they will sue this horrid store and it will be forced to go out of business, muwah-ha-ha-ha. It's perfect, perfect, perfect.

Oops, people are starting to stare; I didn't mean to go all evil she-villain in the middle of the store. Oh well, they must be staring at my beauty, anyways! Now back to the dare. Where is a couple? Ooh! There, a pimply greasy boy is holding hands with a slutty fake blonde. What a dork? Who brings a girl to Wal-mart for a date, what a loser?

Oh, well I should just get this over with. Here, it goes! I walk quickly over to the couple and tap the boy on the shoulder. "Hey, there handsome. Do you think you and I could get some coffee after you're done shopping?"

"Rosalie Hale!" They both shrieked looking at me. SHIT! They're from Forks High, Eric and Lauren? Seriously what are they doing here let alone dating I thought Lauren couldn't stand him and call him greasy pimple head or something.

Great now creepy Eric is looking at me practically drooling, I mean I know I'm perfect and beautiful, but he's kind of freaking me out. "You want to go on a date with me!" He asks in a squeaky voice, ewww!

"Of, course, stud muffin." I reply hooking our arms together.

"Yeah! We can go now if you want." He practically screams; spit flying out of his mouth.

"What!" Lauren shrieks. "You did not just agree to go out with her; after all we've been through! I've given you everything. I let you take my virginity and you cheat on me to my face with her!" She cries pointing at me. Oh, my god! I can't believe she just said that.

"Honey bear, I was only joking, I promise. I wouldn't want her when I have you." He whimpers cowering in fear from her.

"Sorry, Rosalie, but I've already got the most perfect ... uh... well a girlfriend." Eric says looking very disappointed.

"Oh that's alright!" I reply relieved moving over to Lauren side. "Hey there beautiful! Do you think you and I can get some coffee after you're done shopping?"

"Oh, my god! What the hell is like wrong with like you? Oh, wait don't like tell me. Rosalie Hale you are like totally like BISEXUAL! Well at least you like have good taste; I mean who like wouldn't want me. Sorry though, my door doesn't like swing that like way. Oh I can't like wait to like tell Jessica and like Angela and well like everyone. Who would have like guessed that Emmett Cullen was like so bad that he's like turned his girlfriend like bi and like away from him." She cackled as she walked away pulling Eric along after her. Oh great, now my reputation is ruined, oh well what do I care if these loser humans think of me anyways.

Esme's POV

Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this, what must the children think of their parents condoning this sort of behavior. I shouldn't be doing this. I really shouldn't, but it's going to be so much fun. Carlisle's doing it, and as long as I don't get caught, no one will ever be the wiser.

Okay, so what's first, _Switch prices on expensive stuff and cheap stuff._ Okay I can do this, so expensive stuff, that's going to be over in the electronics. All I have to do is switch those signs and then film the reactions of people.

While nobody was looking I ran (at a human speed) over and grabbed the signs off a display of flat screen televisions and a bin of movies. Then I quickly replaced them in the opposite places just as a father and son came down the aisle. Alright time to sit back and watch.

The little boy runs over to the movie bin and starts digging through looking at each one before throwing it back in. Finally he picks one out and carries it over to his father.

"Just one Jimmy, usually you pick out three or four for movie night." The man says looking down at his son affectionately.

"Well I would have grabbed more but the sign said they were $498.00, so I figured we could only get one."

"What! Come on, I'm going up front to complain to the manager. I know the times are tough and prices are going up, but this is ridiculous. 500 dollars for a movie, the nerve of these people!" The man said as he grabbed the sign and marched towards the front of the store with little Jimmy holding his hand.

Next came an old couple, holding hands as they browsed the store.

"Doris, what are we doing down here, we don't need any of these fancy gizmos."

"Ah, shut your trap, you old man I wanted to look into getting one of these new television sets for when the grandchildren come over this summer. Hmmm. Four for twenty dollars, well that sounds like a good idea, seeing as the rest of them are all a couple hundred, but what am I going to do with four of them. Paul! Get over here you old badger and help me put four of these in the cart."

"What do we need four of them for, I don't even want one!" Paul said as the two of them pushed four televisions onto their flat cart. The couple argued back and forth as they headed after Jimmy and his father, while I laughed silently behind another display, this could be fun after all.

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_**Once again I'm so sorry this took so long! I promise I'll try to get it out quicker next time! Next chapter will be the guys first round and what happens as a result of Edward and Bella's pranks! **_

_**Review and tell me what you want to see and which tasks the girls should do next. **_


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